


Afterlife Lessons

by ShianneUrami



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I swear..., M/M, Multi, Shameless, TW: Sex, Update Porn, Xeno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-01
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-13 08:01:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/501256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShianneUrami/pseuds/ShianneUrami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Kankri Vantas, and you are beginning to think you need to get your head out of your nook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kankri: Be scolded by the tattooed Jade

Kankri stood idle, at a loss for what to do. He had just been talking to his pupil not ten minutes ago. Er-, descendant. Now he was standing with a hand to his chin, thinking. He was not exactly sure where Karkat could have gotten off to, but he hoped he didn’t say anything to offend him. He seemed to be having a pretty good time soaking up the knowledge Kankri had to spare earlier. But when he’d been distracted, Karkat had gotten away.  
  
Not that this was some kind of kidnapping situation. Heavens no! That would be horrible. He tried not to imagine any kind of scenario like that. It might not be one of his triggers personally, but it certainly isn’t pleasant either.  
  
Presently he was standing in front of the door that had Karkat’s memories locked up, debating whether or not it would be ethical to use his connection to his descendant to see if he could figure out the password. If that was even how that worked. He stood in front of the door a few more minutes before shaking his head and labelled that a severe invasion of privacy and walked off. Maybe someone else has seen him.  
  
Porrim was sitting on the edge of one of the ledges, overlooking a deeper basin. Below Latula was trying to teach Meenah to ollie, Aranea and Rose were sitting to the side, reading over a book and laughing. Kanaya was just next to them, looking rather stiff. She looked over her shoulder now and again at Porrim on the ledge, which only made the elder Jade laugh under her breath. Kankri sat down next to her, “Porrim, have you to seen the younger Vantas around recently? I seem to have lost to track of him.”  
  
“Little Karkat?” She turned a blank eye on the redblood next to her. “The last time I saw him, he had skittered away behind that door.” She gestured behind them.  
  
Kankri nodded. “I figured as much.”  
  
“He does realize that that door doesn’t stop anything, right? That door’s merely for show. A mirage of sorts. You could really just phase through it. This IS a dream bubble after all.” Porrim explained.  
  
“I could have sworn Meenah was having trouble with it earlier.”  
  
“She was, but that was because she respects Karkat I suppose. I mean, he’s a pretty cool kid. She saw the door, knew it was his way of keeping things from her, and her subconscious couldn’t go against that, so to her, it was locked.”  
  
Down below Kanaya had let her gaze linger on her ancestor and with Porrim waved at her, her lips perked into a smirk. Kanaya squeaked, burying her face in her hands. She was still bright as a candle on a dark night. Porrim shook her head with a small chuckle. Cutie.  
  
Kankri was silent, fiddling with a loose string on one of his sleeves. Porrim reached over, slapping his hand. “You’re going to unravel it, quit.”  
  
He rolled his blank eyes with a small huff, watching the other trolls, and the little human. After a few minutes Porrim asked. “So are you just going to sit here forever, or are you going to go talk your ‘pupil’s’ ear off?”  
  
“What is that supposed to mean?” Kankri asked quickly.  
  
“It means you’re coddling him too much and he probably ran off to hide.”  
  
Kankri’s eyebrows pushed together. “He did no such thing. He was enjoying my sermon! Didn’t you see the look of awe on his face?”  
  
“That wasn’t awe Kanny, that was shocked silence.”  
  
“Yes. At the wonderful knowledge I was feeding him.”  
  
He really was delusional, wasn’t he? Porrim sighed, a long fingered hand resting on his shoulder. ‘Kankri, you need to remember, that the Alternians, and even some of us from Beforus... don’t care.”  
  
There was a there was a momentary look of disbelief before the anger flared up. A deep scowl and a bit of a snarl. Porrim had definitely hit a sore subject there. She sighed before he could go on some epic rant about how they needed to start paying attention to the important things in life and put a hand up. “No, Kankri, please.”  
  
He did stop, but only to glare at her. She had anticipated the next line. “Porrim, how can you be so blind to all of these issues?”  
  
Kankri scolded himself internally for poking at the blind, but right now, was a bit too angry to correct himself outright. How could she be so stubborn? Porrim shook her head. “Kanny, you don’t get it, do you?”  
  
He crossed his arms over his chest, waiting. She sighed. “Guess not. Look at them down there.” She gestured.  
  
The group had bubbled down to sitting in a small circle laughing about something, Meenah and Aranea had traded glasses. Maybe a simple game of Truth or Dare? Kankri turned his attention back to Porrim. “What about them?”  
  
“They look happy, right?”  
  
The elder Vantas nodded. Porrim nodded with him, her tongue flicking out to lick her lips. “3 of the 5 are dead.”  
  
“Startling revelation Porr-”  
  
“Dead Kankri. In other words, they don’t care about the stupid shit anymore. They’re done with the petty crap that had never concerned them to begin with. They’re living their lives, so to speak. Finally able to just chill and enjoy time with each other without the looming threat of this or that. But you-” She pointed a claw at him, hovering in front of his nose. “Are putting a serious damper on things. Lighten up Kankri. You’re dead too. And honestly, that’s not going to change.”  
  
“I underst-”  
  
“I wasn’t done.” She warned. “You are dead and the things that used to matter, don’t anymore. You can’t stand up for the people that are dead. I don’t know how to get you to understand that. They’re finally free from the heartache that life brought. Yeah, it was hard then, but they’re happy now. You trying to continue to pretend we’re alive and the things that used to matter, still matter, is putting everyone on edge. You need to loosen up and leave the past behind.”  
  
Porrim was quiet after that, switching from watching Kankri over her arm, and keeping an eye on everyone down below. She always did have the motherly side to her. Tattoos and piercings aside, she was a girl... woman who one could learn a lot from.  
  
His voice was cracked when he spoke up again. “So, you’re saying that I should drop it all?”  
  
Porrim ran a hand through her hair, closing her eyes. Her skin just barely glowed. He was beginning to irritate her. “Vantas, I’m not saying that you need to drop it. I’m just saying that you need to back off a little. Quit being such a little shit to people. The trigger warnings are crap. No one here is going to take offense to lusus abuse or slurries and concupiscent fluids. Honestly Kankri. Most of us are adults, or nearly that, and if we are offended by something you say, you’ll know. You don’t have to do that.”  
  
“Porrim, with all the younger generation running around, I at least need to warn them when something sexual might be included.”  
  
“No. You really don’t. These new arrivals might be younger, but they aren’t grubs anymore. They might be physically immature, but mentally, I have seen they are very wise. Going through what they did, they have grown a lot. Unless the humans are naturally this mature. Which, I doubt.”  
  
“Mentally and physically mature are two different things Porrim.” Kankri pointed out.  
  
Porrim nodded slowly. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know this Kankri. Believe me. I’m trying to tell you that you need to quit thinking you’re going to offend someone. Constantly poking at the triggers some of us DO have is what triggers us. Essentially, ‘trigger warning: triggers’. If you don’t mention them, maybe people will want to talk to you more often.”  
  
“People want to talk to me all the time!”  
  
She turned a blank eye to watch him. “Kankri... before Karkat got here, you hadn’t left your little chunk of the dream bubble for at least a quarter of a sweep. And I was one of the only ones to visit you. And you never noticed that as soon as you got into a bit speech, I had other things to do?”  
  
“You... were avoiding me?”  
  
Oh, that was genuine hurt in his voice. Damn. Maybe Porrim was being a little too hard on him. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, kicking her feet against the ledge. “I wasn’t... avoiding you. I was...”  
  
“I suppose I understand Porrim. Please, don’t try to explain. I think I got it. I need to tone it back. Loosen up. I’m dead. There isn’t a lot I can do for anyone at this point...” Kankri said quietly, stumbling to his feet.  
  
She put a hand up. “No, Kanny, that’s not what I- Augh!”  
  
The jadeblood reached for him, hoping he’d come back so she could apologize. She hadn’t meant to offend him like that. Maybe talking to him about these things was coming back to bite her in the ass. Maybe his warnings were needed in some situations. He was already halfway down the hallway, heading back towards Karkat’s door. Porrim turned back to weave her hands into her hair with an irritated sigh.  
  
Kankri stood in front of the door into Karkat’s memories, arms crossed over his chest. He looked over his shoulder and back at Porrim sitting on the ledge. He muttered something under his breath before looking at the door.  
  
“I owe Karkat an apology... He’ll be happy to know that I’m turning over a new leaf.”  
  
The elder redblood rest his hand against the door to the rest of the dream bubble. There were things in here that Karkat didn’t want others seeing. Things that were personal. This door was his warning. And if Kankri was throwing all his other habits of personal space and consideration for others to the wind, this door shouldn’t stop him either. Maybe Porrim was right. Maybe he just needed to loosed up a bit. Karkat probably had some idea how to do that, right?  
  
Yeah. Just find Karkat, apologize, and ask if he had any helpful suggestions.  
  
Kankri’s hand phased through the door and he stepped on through into the darkness beyond.


	2. Dave: Be blindsided by your fellow Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Dave Strider and you really hadn't been expecting that.

“STRIDER!”  
  
He.  
Was.  
Fuming.  
  
This section of the dream bubble was Karkat’s. It’s where he’d been keeping all of the... Nevermind. Doesn’t matter.  
  
And now Strider’s stupid human influences was cluttering up everything!  
  
A big ‘bed’ with red covers half hanging off the bed, along with a slew of other Earth things. Karkat stood, hands balled into fists at his sides. He half turned, yelling,  
  
“STRI-”  
  
Suddenly, Dave was nose to nose with him, a smirk across his lips. “You called?”  
  
Karkat reached up, grabbing the front of his stupid God tier pajamas and glared at him. He gestured in a wide arc behind him. “What the fuck do you think all of this is?”  
  
Dave made it a point to pretend to look over his shoulder. He was taller, but it was still pretty funny to see the twitch of irritation. “Well, this looks like a pretty sweet looking bedroom. What’s the problem with it?”  
  
Karkat let his hands drop, groaning. “I know what it is-”  
  
“Then why’d you ask?”  
  
“I meant, what the fuck is it doing here?!” The troll snarled.  
  
Dave was quiet, his lips pulled to the side. After a moment he shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t look like it’s doing much of anything. Kind of boring. Supposed to do acrobatic flips and shit. I’m disappointed.”  
  
Karkat growled, shaking his head. One clawed hand reached up, hovering in front of his face. He never flinched.  
  
“I have had it up to-”  
  
He jammed the heel of his hand into the human’s head. “HERE, with you.”  
  
Dave snatched his hand, throwing it down. “Hands off Vantas. I still have no idea what you’re even talking about. Some of my memories are effecting the dream bubble. This shit happens. I can’t fix it. Quit your fucking bitching, alright?”  
  
If there was one thing a Strider wasn’t fond of, it was people touching like that. Not cool. The shades helped mask the anger, reflecting Karkat’s expression back at him. Karkat turned to the bed. “You can get rid of it. It’s really simple Strider. A wriggler could do it. Concentrate on making it go away and poof, it’ll be gone.”  
  
The human made no move to do anything about it. Karkat shifted. “Seriously Strider, are you this fucking stupid?”  
  
The red covers shifted, sliding back up onto the bed to lay in a less messy manner. Karkat put a hand to his temple. “I... you’re getting there. How about this time we just make it gone?”  
  
Again, there was a moment of silence between the two. Karkat swallowed hard. “It’s extremely difficult not to flay you from nook to nose right now. I swear to God-”  
  
“It’s not going away Vantas. I’m concentrating in between your ranting, but it’s not...” Strider sighed, his cool kid demeanour slipping. “I don’t have time for this right now Karkat.”  
  
Karkat turned sharply. “You are nothing BUT time Strider. Just get rid of it.”  
  
A small groan and Dave stepped up, looking down at Karkat. “You know what Vantas? I’ve about had it with your bullshit. What the fuck has gotten into you? I thought through Egbert’s rambles, and what I’d seen through Trollian, that you’d maybe be a halfway decent guy who was just putting up a front. But I’m beginning to think you’re just a sorry half witted excuse for a troll. Get rid of it yourself, or man up and MAKE ME.”  
  
A quirk whirring sound and Karkat snatched one of the two sickles out of the air, spinning to face Dave and hold it to his throat. The other dropped out a moment later and he hooked this one around Dave’s ribs. He voice was quiet, edged with malice.  
  
“If I gut you, it’s anything but heroic Strider. You’ll bleed out and you’ll die, and then you’ll come back and I’ll do this all over again.”  
  
Karkat was shorter and maybe a little quicker than Dave. Dave was trained with swords, which still had reach. Karkat had training in the equivalent to hand to hand combat, only deadlier. With him this close, this face, there wasn’t much Dave could do. He never faltered though, standing still, letting Karkat’s snarl glare back at him, stonefaced. So instead of fighting him, why not be intimidating?  
  
“You don’t want to do this Vantas. There’s nothing I can do about the situation. Calm those raging hormonal troll tits and put the puny scythes away.”  
  
“Puny... scythes?” Karkat asked, like he hadn’t heard. Terezi was blind, but was Karkat going deaf now too? Must be overexposure to all the shit tumbling out his mouth at such a decibel.  
  
“You heard me. Those things are pathetic.” Dave nodded, swallowing hard against the cool metal pressed to his throat.  
  
“I can’t believe how absolutely fucking ridiculous you are Strider. Honestly. You HAVE to have SOME kind of think pan damage because the levels of stupidity tumbling from that gaping maw you so lovingly refer to as a mouth is astronomical.”  
  
“Well, if you are taking so much offense to my space level tumbling idiocy, then why don’t you do something about it Vantas?”  
  
The muscles in Karkat’s arm tightened under the sweater and Dave caught the slight hint of body language and flash stepped. Karkat’s grip brought the sickle down where his throat had been not a second earlier. Karkat just stared off into what was Dave’s chest. Dave cocked his head to the side, not going to say anything just yet. After a while though, he cleared his throat.  
  
“Pretty pitiful attempt there Karkles. You wanna try again? Or would you rather I left you to try to get rid of this mess?”  
  
This time though, Dave had the broken Caldescratch in hand. It was still shorter than the swords he was used to, but as Karkat spun, he ran a hand over where the blade should have been. A flash of red clockwork and the blade materialized, pulled from it’s past to form a solid blade again. He sent it back and forth for convenience. It was easier to lug around a hilt and a quarter of a blade than the whole damn greatsword. He pulled Caldescratch up, clashing against the sickles. The sword slid down the edge of one of the sickles and Dave nearly lost his grip as it redirected. So long against swords, he hadn’t actually thought about that. The arc of his blow went wide, and the force of the other troll slammed into him, knocking them both tumbling backwards, weapons scattering. Clever maneuver.  
  
Karkat’s hands curled in that stupid outfit again and he shook Dave once. “You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve Strider! I am SO fucking sick of you!”  
  
He shook the human again, slamming him down into the floor. Dave never moved though, just let the troll thrash him around like a rag doll. He was done. Vantas was pissed, but he never stayed pissed. It’d pass, and he could get back to what he was doing. It was easier on both of them if Dave just didn’t bother retaliating like his highly trained instincts screamed at him to do. Let the ornery little fuck get it out of his system. Dave was only half listening to his ranting anyway.  
  
“And they expect ME to beat Lord English?!”  
  
Woah, what about the big end game boss?  
  
Just as Dave turned his attention to Karkat, a grey fist blindsided him, slamming into his jaw and sending his head reeling and his shades skittering across the floor. Dave’s eyes jammed shut at the sudden light, groaning at the light that did get through rather than the punch. Not that Karkat would have made the connection. He kept his eyes, shut. He could hear the troll panting angrily above him.  
  
“You’re pathetic. And so am I.” Karkat said quietly.  
  
He growled and Dave didn’t have to open his eyes to know the expression. He kept his eyes shut so he didn’t have to confront that.  
  
“My fellow Knights are two morons who think they are SO cool. I am the leader of one of the most pathetic excuses for a team there ever has, or ever will be. Our Mage is blind, and our blind prophet is literally blind. Our Light player is overly romantic and confusing. I’d take sweaty old Equius back after all this. At least he was somewhat useful with his robots and... fists. And then there’s me.”  
  
Dave flinched when something hit his face. He had been expecting another fist. Another round of punches. But it was warm and wet. He cracked an eye open, looking up at Karkat. Thin lines of pale pink ran down his face, his teeth clenched and his shoulders trembling ever so slightly. He was crying. Dave opened his eyes the rest of the way, Karkat’s shut tight in a failed attempt to stop the tears that leaked from the corners of his eyes.  
  
“I’m the poorest fucking excuse for a troll ever to exist. ‘Check my privileges’? Honestly? What privileges? Beforus was so much more peaceful than Alternia. I’m sure Kankri didn’t have the looming threats of the drones or lusii or God forbid, other trolls. Smart, witty and brutal. Hiding from them all just to make sure I stayed alive. I am the worst leader to be hatched and-”  
  
Karkat’s words were cut off in a sob. Dave sighed, catching the troll’s attention. Before he had his eyes open all the way, Dave’s hand was on the side of his face. “No, fuck... Kark- Don’t say shit like that dude. You’re not a bad leader. It was because of you that we all got out. Well, most of us- Man Vantas, I am shit with words.”  
  
Dave pulled him down roughly, resting his chin in between his nubby horns. “Just... stop crying okay? I don’t know how to handle blubbering trolls. Maryam broke down about her ancestor to Rose and I absconded the fuck out of there.”  
  
Karkat struggled a little, but Dave held him close, one hand rubbing his back in small awkward circles, the other in his hair. He hated when people cried. He had never been good at the ‘comfort’ thing. So all he could think to do was hold them. After a few minutes there was a small sniffling sound and a clearing of his throat. Karkat tapped his chest and Dave let him go. He shifted, looking up at the human. His expression was a mix of anger and sadness. Dave couldn’t help a small smile.  
  
“You alright now nubby?”  
  
Karkat didn’t have the energy to growl out an answer, just let his head fall, landing heavily against Dave’s sternum. “I’m pitiful.” He said quietly.  
  
“A little, yeah. But you’re kind of a badass when you need to be. It’s not everyday that someone can best a Strider in a strife. You’re short, your horns are sad, you are WAY too loud, and you’re just overall a great big ball of ‘fuck everything’. But I really wouldn’t have asked for a better leader.”  
  
Dave pulled his face up so he’d look at him, eye to eye. He took note of the stiffen of his muscles when Karkat caught his gaze. “John might not be here, but you’re a damn good leader too. You know how hard life can be. You’ve been kicked and beaten, but you keep rising to the challenge. You keep us all in line, and you can’t blame yourself for the bad things that have happened. Rose and Terezi have both said that those of us still alive are alive for a reason. It’s the Fate’s design or something like that.”  
  
“Just... no more cryin’ alright? I don’t know how to deal with tears.” Dave sighed, trying to relax a bit after the minor rollercoaster of emotions.  
  
Karkat was a good leader. A hero like John, and his brother. He had a lot to bear, but he did it with a strong face. But even heroes have their moments. Right now was just a moment for Karkat to be able to breath and regain his composure. Build up that wall he so frequently preached from. Dave was kind of happy to be here for one of the heroes. He’d be doing the same for John.  
  
The yellow eyes looked up at him, the grey irises already beginning to turn the lightest shade of red. Karkat would have the same red irises Dave had in due time. Dave understood trolls well enough to know that much at least. He could say that it was a common thing to see, but recently, Karkat’s where the only eyes changing. Terezi’s sharp red eyes, Sollux’s mismatched black and white. He’d seen hide nor hair of the juggalo and he’d rarely see Aradia, so he couldn’t say much for her either. And Kanaya had been too wrapped up in Rose and their books for Dave to really take notice. So this nubby little troll before him was the only indication. The slap in the face that they were all getting older. All aging, all growing. Time was passing. Things were changing.  
  
The troll reached up, pulling the human’s face down to brush a kiss across his lips. Light and hesitant, almost as if he was asking permission. Dave was just as hesitant. Not only was this another dude, and an alien to boot. But he needed Dave’s support right now. And if this is how they built themselves back up, then he’d mack on the alien for a minute, make him feel better. Feel wanted. Dave kissed back, still rubbing those circles into Karkat’s back. He broke off after a moment, pulling back. “You’re really pitiful too Strider.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by FastPuck and NapalmArts.


End file.
